More tranny stories later!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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