So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
