Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
