Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
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