Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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