Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Green mimosas i think yes
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
