OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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