New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
