chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
