Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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