bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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