I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Holy sore nipples Batman
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
