I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
