Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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