So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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