hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
