It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize