Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
