I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
