You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
