I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
