Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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