I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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