im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
