1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
