Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
