That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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