This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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