There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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