My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
