Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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