I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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