hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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