I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
