Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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