I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
So much rum. So many feels.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
