its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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