You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize