Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
