She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
