is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
