david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
