Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
How's work?
Spinning.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
