when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
