I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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