DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
