sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
