i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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