Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
