On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
