you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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