Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
