We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
