You really coming over, don't trick.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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