Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize