Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
