I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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