You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
whose parrot is this?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
