I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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