Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
