u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
And then he peed in my hair
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