Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
